Random Blatant Crap

2005-02-09T22:17:00.000-05:00

Another child star bites the dust...

Celebration, bitches.

2004-10-18T17:32:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about it today, and I'm ready to sodomize you.

in your ass.

2004-08-12T22:14:00.000-04:00

must ... smile ... Keep... Smiling ... My husband ... Gets fucked in his ass... actually, was he a pitcher or a catcher? .... I guess it’s better if he did the fucking, right? ..... oh Jesus, but that would mean I got fucked by a dick that had been up a bunch of guys' hairy, dirty, assholes ... goddammitt, I'm going to get so fucked by so many enormously endowed black men once this dies down .... I'll be like the Jersey shore bukkake queen .... that'll show that self righteous fuck ... have to clean out those pipes .... look at him .... what a fairy .... Keep .... Smiling ....

Don’t....stop.... smiling....

2004-08-04T18:27:00.000-04:00

Funny thing happened while I was jacking off while watching the price is right yesterday. Just as I was about to dump my load, as some dirty whore with blonde hair and a not quite skimpy enough swimsuit was demonstrating the incredible efficiencies of some piece of shit washing machine, this cat walked into the room, and I busted my nut, and the cat stood there looking at me, and I kicked it, and then I felt really guilty. Not for kicking the cat, but because I remembered I’d been wearing the same underwear since last Thursday.

Then I picked up the cat and took him to the vet and neutered it because bob barker told me to.

2004-07-28T15:54:00.000-04:00

so last night i was having sex with this girl, because you see, i actually have sex unlike you lame fucks, and when we were getting hot and heavy, she yelled out some guys name, Greg. so i almost fucking flipped until i realized there was a guy named greg in her closet jerking off while watching me drill her. and you know what? i gave him a great fuckin show.

john kerry says fuck you by the way.

2004-07-25T16:19:00.000-04:00

You know what the best thing about kittens is?

They don't talk back.

And they are easy as fuck to throw.

2004-07-23T22:41:00.000-04:00

Shame on you, Mel Gibson.

Two solid hours of torturing Jesus, and you couldn’t throw in a ferret gnawing on his balls or at least a cactus branch shoved up his ass?

I mean what is this, Sesame Street?

2004-07-23T21:42:00.000-04:00

what do you get when you cross a black guy with a gorilla?

a stupid gorilla.

2004-07-23T04:27:00.000-04:00

Yeah. He lied. He's dumb. And you're a bitch. Now re-lube that thumb and start wiggling you cock smoker.

Thing never change.

2004-07-22T22:42:00.000-04:00

see this guy's finger?

it was just in my ass.

and I liked it.

but don't think I want your finger in my ass, you faggott.

jesus fucking christ, you sick fuck.

2004-07-22T22:22:00.000-04:00

Here's a story.

So I go to Taco Bell, right? (As in, is that correct? Yes it is.) And there's two paths to get into the drive thru line. I take the sneaky path and get ahead of this fat bitch in an SUV, and she's gets pissed off in an obvious way that I cut in front of her, flailing about and shit. So then I roll down my window to get ready to order, and she yells ahead at me: "Excuse me, your back tire is flat!"

What? No it isn't, you fat bastard. She's obviously lying, as if she's expecting I'm gonna get out of line and change my tire. So I lie back: "You're gonna order a sensible meal! No more than three Nachos Bell Grandes today." Fucking tub.

2004-07-22T21:28:00.000-04:00

if you died tomorrow, i'd care.
actually, no, no i wouldn't.
more oxygen for me.
bitches.

2004-07-20T22:05:00.000-04:00

this is your mission, if you choose to accept it, and accept it you must, if you want to be down with the committee.

see that plunger? up your ass. and that toothbrush too. in that order. and then take the other plunger (don't worry, Guido, the house janitor, will provide that) and get busy with ensuring that that shit stays up there, or, rather, comes out properly.

oh, you know what I mean. fuck off.

2004-06-30T17:33:00.000-04:00

"and he slides it so perfectly in my asshole, Bev, I mean, wow!"

2004-06-23T17:40:00.000-04:00

If this whole Mary-Kate Olsen getting treatment for Anorexia has taught us one thing it's this: Jessica Simpson is a fat pig.

2004-06-21T20:05:00.000-04:00

It was a dick, a big, huge, bulbous cock, maybe this big, maybe bigger, and it was in my ass, and it was all the way in, banging up against my walls, and afterwards, believe you me, I was shitting liquid for days.

and who's penis was that, engorging beyond belief that which was once my virgin ass? I'll tell you the owner of that enormous member. His name is Ralph Nader, my friends, and if he can fuck this country in the ass half as well as he did me, well, let's just say good times are ahead, and I will be ecstatically gimped out as vice president of anal invasion. Thank you.

2004-06-04T20:44:00.000-04:00

I feel reborn and enlightened, kind of like in that movie, "Deuce Bigalow."

2004-06-04T14:33:00.000-04:00

what's up bitches.

miss me?

that's nice.

now open your mouth, i gotta take a shit.

2004-04-06T20:19:00.000-04:00

about 30,000 years ago on a planet called funk two gigantic monstrous beasts of sound set up shop across an alley from each other and simply proceeded to lay down enormous caverns of subthunkeraneous velocity with neither regard to safety or bodily harm.

Oh and by the way fuck all of you.

2004-03-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

you know when someone says, "Hey, it could be worse." ?

Show em this picture.

And then tell them to shut the fuck up and die.

2004-03-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

+

=

One midget who can do a hell of a lot of hammering.

2004-03-27T16:55:00.000-05:00

If you were wondering, yes, he's still a fucking tool.

A very flamboyantly gay tool.

2004-03-26T16:07:00.000-05:00

Random Blatant Crap:

2004-03-24T18:10:00.000-05:00

so i'm fucked right?

yeah.

2004-03-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Pat's... fuckers.

2004-03-15T14:30:00.000-05:00

i was gonna post some witty commentary on the state of the world based on the weekend's news events.

but i didn't read any newspapers or watch any news shows, so i have no idea what's going on.

i did jerk off a lot though.

2004-03-14T06:32:00.000-05:00

If I Were a Lizard
By Saul Horowitz

If I were a lizard, I would be a color-changing camouflaging lizard. I would shape shift. But only on Sundays.

Every other day, mail is delivered. Normally I would not shape shift because the mailman might not deliver my mail to me if I happened to shift into the form of anyone from Fresno, California.

Fucking cunts.

2004-03-11T21:44:00.000-05:00

hey kids, story time! now everyone sit down quietly, relax, and enjoy my rendition of "the little children who were eaten alive and burned in hell with the evil rabbit people."

2004-03-10T19:20:00.000-05:00

They've all sucked a dick before.

2004-03-05T21:17:00.000-05:00

2004-03-05T17:08:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, so shut the fuck up and have a Budweiser...

2004-03-04T20:54:00.000-05:00

See, 2 girls kissing is not ALWAYS hot.

2004-03-02T21:52:00.000-05:00

John Kerry's daughter (left) is just a spiked dog collar and a nose job away from being pretty damn fuck-able.

2004-03-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

I watched the Oscars.
I feel gay just because of that...but some news and notes for those who missed it.
Jamie Lee Curtis is a man.
And an ugly one at that.

2004-03-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

I know i would if i could.

2004-02-28T19:57:00.000-05:00

go fuck yourself

2004-02-27T18:10:00.000-05:00

hey, why not make a business out of it? charge 5$ admission to come get jizzed on. and have a shitload of dudes jerking there dolphin over the high seas of nyc.

shit, get a buttload of bukkake bitches out in the crowd, they could slop up every last drop

it's so simple really

we'll all be rich

2004-02-27T14:55:00.000-05:00

If some motherfucker was gonna shoot cum off the Empire State Building...They better fucking warn me first.
So that I can get into position and have my mouth open.

2004-02-27T05:30:00.000-05:00

turns out that penny off the empire state building killing someone thing is a myth anyway.

so I guess a squirt of man juice really wouldn't do anything besides ruin some dumb bitch's good hair day.

or maybe improve it?

doesn't matter.

a bucket of cum from up there, though, that could do some damage. the bucket probably more than the jizm. but without the frosting it's not a very politically potent cake.

PS: fuck off

2004-02-26T21:37:00.000-05:00

if you jacked off from the top of the empire state building, could you smash someone's head in with your sperm?

scientifically speaking, it would seem of course not. Rain, after all, falls from way higher and doesn't do that kind of damage.

but semen....

2004-02-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

What kind of desperate bitch ends up getting fucked by a DOG on camera?

“Well, Charlene, we’ve got two options for you today. You can get gangbanged by those 5 homeless guys for three crack rocks, or you can bend over for this golden retriever for four crack rocks. What’s it gonna be? Come on, we’re on a schedule here, if my dog isn’t gonna shoot his load up your twat, I’ll go ahead and give him his bath, ok? Jesus Christ.”

2004-02-26T20:04:00.000-05:00

I heard that when dogs fuck, they can’t pull their dicks out until they come, some kind of biological feature to guarantee the jizz gets to the uterus, I guess.

It just got me thinking that, wow, I’m glad us humans don’t have to worry about that, because I don’t think I’d feel comfortable cumming inside my dog.

2004-02-26T16:24:00.000-05:00

seriously, I've never seen another dog with a gift like this. practically retracts his teeth into his mouth and somehow seems to descratchify his tongue. truly amazing. talented animal.

2004-02-26T16:22:00.000-05:00

Reference: the dog in that picture with the spider-monkey

Most dogs don’t fall for that “lather peanut butter all over your cock and lay down on the floor and wait for the magic to happen” thing.

But that one does.

And that’s why he’s man’s best best friend.

2004-02-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

If you ever make it to Thailand to catch the assorted animal death fights...always bet on "Percy, the deranged spider monkey."
He's got a mean rear naked choke.

2004-02-26T16:15:00.000-05:00

Damn if I can’t think of something extremely offensive to say right now.

Fuck, I hate when that happens.

2004-02-26T16:12:00.000-05:00

So True mentioned something about having sex with your mother. I think that'd be hot. I'd love to fuck your mom.

And btw true...you're welcome for all this publicity. I/We expect a check soon.

2004-02-25T13:39:00.000-05:00

^^ The Devil himself.

2004-02-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

"the most blatant aspect of the random crap that you post is that you are BY FAR the biggest closet case i've read in a looooooooooong time. jesus." - fitzcarraldo

See that??? I/We are, BY FAR. BY FAR! That means number 1, bitches. Get off my/our nuts, jealous bastards. I/We're #1. Sucks to be you...losers.

2004-02-24T16:36:00.000-05:00

The only way I'm buying this is if he thought she had a dick in her mouth.

2004-02-24T15:51:00.000-05:00

no amount of even the greatest music being played from the most sophisticated sound equipment can soothe the mounting, if only momentary, frustration and anger bubbling forth in my soul.

a very large joint would be nice, though.

2004-02-23T21:49:00.000-05:00

Let’s play what’s behind the flowers!!

A) Kim Jong-Il getting head from a North Korean whore
B) Kim Jong-Il getting head from the still-enslaved daughter of a South-Korean prisoner of war
C) Kim Jong-Il going pee-pee
D) Kim Jong-Il sodomizing the prize pig from the Kongsuk county fair
E) the detached penis of Star Jones’ fiance, on the run, dangling from Kim Jong-Il's pubes in the hopes of attaining political asylum

2004-02-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

Reference: closet case

Are you trying to imply that I like getting ass-fucked in the closet?

Oh Gawd, that’s so 1983.

Everyone who’s anybody gets butt-rammed in the attic nowadays, or the basement. I mean, please, it’s all about up & down now, fuck that side-to-side shit.

I may like smoking man sausage and taking beef injections up my south pole, but you won’t catch me doing it in an unfashionable manner.

2004-02-23T14:07:00.000-05:00

Just a friendly reminder.

Regarding RBC.

Like it or don't like it, but learn to love it, because it's the best thing going today.

...And don't ever forget it motherfuckers.

2004-02-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

Who the fuck is this kid trying to fool.
You're not Batman motherfucker.
And you never will be.
All you're going to be when you grow up is a little cock sucking cum bag.

You know what the real Batman(Adam West) would say if he saw this little fuck trying to impersonate him.

He would simply just give him a little... BAM!
Or ZAP!
Yeah you know how it goes, that little fuck would be done before the dance party could break out.

P.S. Could Robin be any gayer? If he was any gayer he might just be you.

2004-02-20T21:28:00.000-05:00

So, we were supposed to assume that these guys were buttfucking, right?

2004-02-20T17:48:00.000-05:00

For the right price, he'd buy your children.

And for the right price, you'd sell them.

2004-02-20T01:23:00.000-05:00

Can somebody say closet lesbian?

2004-02-19T21:02:00.000-05:00

JFK says...
"................"
Nothing.
Because he's dead.
Dumbass.

2004-02-19T03:25:00.000-05:00

"I have this many Y chromosomes! Grr! Arg!"

2004-02-19T03:20:00.000-05:00

What the fuck is up with DVD menus? I don't want to wait for thirty goddamn seconds of booting up and clever menu animations, I want my midgit and horse porn.

2004-02-18T17:55:00.000-05:00

“So, in conclusion, old people suck at driving.

Hope to see everyone at my house for the gang bang tonight.

Thank you."

2004-02-18T17:26:00.000-05:00

If you own a pet seal, this is the last person you want to have baby-sit it.
Trust me.

2004-02-18T16:08:00.000-05:00

This is the kinda bitch that just deserves to be rammed in the ass, don't ya think?
I mean, not by these faggots, but by someone.
Like me.

2004-02-18T13:43:00.000-05:00

Mother, may I sleep with Treacher?

no you certainly may NOT, young lady, but remember this:

boys don’t get serious

over easily gained uterus

but a good dose of face

will keep a lad on the chase.

What? Mom, I didn’t really understand that.

SUCK HIS COCK.

But don’t swallow. You don’t want him thinking you’re that kind of girl.

2004-02-17T21:49:00.000-05:00

sarcasm is a dish best served kosher

that doesn't mean anything

so what if I like putting pickles in my ass

like you don't

fag

2004-02-17T19:32:00.000-05:00

whoah there

gi-giddyup

and in other news:

we heart mad pony

2004-02-17T18:17:00.000-05:00

this place should be turned into a huge roller skating rink and only "ABBA" is allowed to be played there.
If it exploded, no one would care, except Canada, because it would then jump from #2 to #1 in the "Bitch ass" category.

2004-02-17T16:36:00.000-05:00

tell your mom i said thanks for last night.

oh you didn't know i was your daddy?

2004-02-17T14:51:00.000-05:00

This is how a fucking gangsta rolls.. by starlitelily
gangsta name
gangsta job	enforcer
your fucking problem	wanted felon
# of times you ran from the cops	90
your saying	G G G G G UNIT!!!

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Is there anything more true in life?

2004-02-16T04:35:00.000-05:00

The moral of the story? If you want to know what it's like to touch Beyonce's titties, just grab your mom's.

2004-02-16T02:07:00.000-05:00

you may not like this site, but the fact of the matter is, no one gives 2 shits about your opinion. you mean nothing to anyone. you're on the internet,which makes you a fucking dork. you're not special. you're not cool. you're a dork.
In conclusion, fuck you.
PS
Fuck you
PPS
Go Fuck Yourself
PPPS
Unless you're cool. Then we take it back.

2004-02-15T05:42:00.000-05:00

Yippee! We’re married!

God will LOVE it when we fuck each other in the ass now!

2004-02-15T05:34:00.000-05:00

Vote for me.

Why?

Uh, because I love cheese?

Stupid fucking hicks.

2004-02-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

WHOOPTY DOO IT'S VALEN...SHUT UP...

&

FUCK YOU.

2004-02-14T13:36:00.000-05:00

Did you ever think that for one second, bitch, that it's not me, maybe it's you?
Maybe you have just have a really deep pussy, ok?
My cock's perfect, you fucking Grand Canyon pussy owning whore.

2004-02-13T19:41:00.000-05:00

Something to keep you fucks busy tonight and on the long weekend.

2004-02-13T18:16:00.001-05:00

The Grammy's are such bullshit. All politics.
Sorry Dogstar.

2004-02-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

This is the American Idol.
OUR IDOL.
This is what America wants to be.
FAT and SWEATY.
Awesome.

2004-02-13T15:06:00.000-05:00

Both his girlfriend and his mother are wondering what it'd be like to get eaten out by a giraffe.
Sick bitches.
And you just got a mental image of that, didn't you?
Sick fuck.

2004-02-13T04:43:00.000-05:00

I take back that comment about that one piece of shit. You see that blonde? I want to ride that pony. But keep that other horse in its stable.

2004-02-13T04:26:00.000-05:00

"I'll take 'Photos' for 600, Alex"

"What are three things that have seen more pussy than Michael Jackson?"

2004-02-13T04:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, what the fuck is this piece of shit and when the fuck is it leaving?

2004-02-13T03:35:00.000-05:00

I used to do shit like save the Eucharist during communion and put in my pocket.

Then I'd go home, dip it in ketchup, eat it, and laugh my ass off.

2004-02-13T02:52:00.000-05:00

God Dammit, stop being blasphemous.

2004-02-12T21:39:00.000-05:00

The candy. The flowers. The balloons. The teddy bears. The jewelry. The dinner. The movie. The walk on the beach. The sunset. After spending all that money on Valentine's Day, most of you still won't be getting pussy.

I think it's a sign. A sign to start getting used to dick in your ass.

2004-02-12T21:07:00.000-05:00

No, not everyone does, motherfucker.

2004-02-12T19:59:00.000-05:00

Hey honey, I’m going out for a couple hours.

Oh yeah? Where you going? Out to fuck that whore?

Barbie, Jesus Christ, I just have to run a few errands.

Yeah, sure, Ken. You know what? Go fuck that whore! Fuck her all fucking day and all fucking night! But don’t expect me to be here when you get back!

Good! Crazy bitch. Fuck! you crazy, crazy bitch! And you know what? I will go fuck her. I’m gonna go fuck her so fucking good and there ain’t shit you can do about it, and it’ll be better than any of the times you laid underneath me like a dead fish you stupid frigid cunt!

Fine! Have fun. Maybe I’ll fuck the mailman while you’re gone!

Great! Tell him I said hi.

I will! You want me to suck his cock for you too? He's got a big one!

Yeah, sounds good. Bye, you fucking psycho. I don’t know why the fuck I put up with this shit for forty fucking years. You are certifiably fucking insane! Have a nice fucking life, bitch!

2004-02-12T19:12:00.000-05:00

In all your life, you'll never be as cool as this dog.
RIP
And if you try, you'll fail, so just give up.
And go make me a sandwich, bitch.

2004-02-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

At this point in my life, I'd even fuck a doorknob.

2004-02-12T17:24:00.000-05:00

Might as well just hand over your penis now, man.
You wine cooler drinking gay bitch.

2004-02-12T15:25:00.000-05:00

I take 2 swigs and that bottle is gone.
Yet it satisfies 3 polar bears.
Blatant false advertising.

2004-02-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

God, take me to Rio someday, where Paris Hilton isn’t the pop culture definition of beauty and exquisitely fine thick bitches like this, without even the slightest idiot-box fed self-conscious misconceptions, let their hot fat titties hang out all over the place, waiting for their 65 year old investment banker not-so-discreet lovers to get out of their afternoon meetings and show up with the goddamm fucking hefty bags full of cocaine.

2004-02-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

They should have them do a makeover to a group of queer hating cannibals.
THAT I would watch.
Just because of the possibility...you know?

2004-02-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

they're all dead

all of them

they're all dead

and they're in my stomach

2004-02-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

Some company or really rich guy should produce and sponsor a pussy-juice tasting contest in which a premier selection of the hottest whores from all around the world lay back and spread their legs on a huge stage designed by the most visually aware homo in the land, and people, for a nominal fee or free if they're famous and don't mind the publicity, can come by and smell and taste their pussies and like judge on different criteria like texture and aroma and flavor and presentation and probably a lot of other features I haven’t even thought of.

Those bitches would have to do some serious douching first though.

2004-02-11T20:16:00.000-05:00

I really think the word "whore" is demeaning and shouldn't be used on RBC anymore.
I like filthy dirty fucking cum dumpster sloppy bitches better.
Actually, whore is good too.
Nevermind.

2004-02-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

if all the most expensive and sought after whores in the world, say the top 50, rated by an expert panel of guys that have fucked at least 50 whores each, were to get together, they could probably rule the world.

update:

but they'd have to keep doing a shitload of fucking and sucking

and their reign would not be one of the longest in history

unless they carried on through the generations the master whore secrets of the far reaches of the world to their progeny. In fact they could make a whore academy.

hmmmm

2004-02-11T19:56:00.000-05:00

If you lined up like 85 whores and bent them all over and got like a shitload of lubricant you could fuck whores for a long time.

Actually that’s a pretty high level of dick control.

And you’d get tired.

Maybe three whores and a fat sack of weed instead.

2004-02-11T19:55:00.000-05:00

There’re a lot of whores sucking dick out there

But I think your sister’s the best.