Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Another child star bites the dust...

Celebration, bitches.

Monday, October 18, 2004

I was thinking about it today, and I'm ready to sodomize you.

in your ass.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

must ... smile ... Keep... Smiling ... My husband ... Gets fucked in his ass... actually, was he a pitcher or a catcher? .... I guess it’s better if he did the fucking, right? ..... oh Jesus, but that would mean I got fucked by a dick that had been up a bunch of guys' hairy, dirty, assholes ... goddammitt, I'm going to get so fucked by so many enormously endowed black men once this dies down .... I'll be like the Jersey shore bukkake queen .... that'll show that self righteous fuck ... have to clean out those pipes .... look at him .... what a fairy .... Keep .... Smiling ....

Don’t....stop.... smiling....

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Funny thing happened while I was jacking off while watching the price is right yesterday. Just as I was about to dump my load, as some dirty whore with blonde hair and a not quite skimpy enough swimsuit was demonstrating the incredible efficiencies of some piece of shit washing machine, this cat walked into the room, and I busted my nut, and the cat stood there looking at me, and I kicked it, and then I felt really guilty. Not for kicking the cat, but because I remembered I’d been wearing the same underwear since last Thursday.

Then I picked up the cat and took him to the vet and neutered it because bob barker told me to.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

so last night i was having sex with this girl, because you see, i actually have sex unlike you lame fucks, and when we were getting hot and heavy, she yelled out some guys name, Greg. so i almost fucking flipped until i realized there was a guy named greg in her closet jerking off while watching me drill her. and you know what? i gave him a great fuckin show.

john kerry says fuck you by the way.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

You know what the best thing about kittens is?

They don't talk back.

And they are easy as fuck to throw.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Shame on you, Mel Gibson.

Two solid hours of torturing Jesus, and you couldn’t throw in a ferret gnawing on his balls or at least a cactus branch shoved up his ass?

I mean what is this, Sesame Street?

what do you get when you cross a black guy with a gorilla?

a stupid gorilla.

Yeah. He lied. He's dumb. And you're a bitch. Now re-lube that thumb and start wiggling you cock smoker.

Thing never change.

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